New Soul
by g2gbakecake
Summary: Lily and Joe lost their baby and Joe can't handle the pain.Will he live. Loe.
1. Chapter 1

"I lost the baby..." the voice said from over the phone. It was around ten in the morning and that was the last thing I though I would have heard Lily tell me.

"Pardon?!" I replied feeling my heart shatter at the thought. I knew we were young, and that my life was turning upside down at the moment, but somehow I felt joy in the situation. Knowing that my life would never be the same, and how that I was helping bring a new life in the world. A new chapter of my life was a about to begin and just as soon as I turned the page the book ended.

As I sat in my families kitchen listening to the load sobs from the other end go the phone, my family just stared at me. Tears wren running down my cheeks and my once happy eyes were turning red and puffy.

"_We _lost the baby Joe. . . last night. . ." it said. I put my head down and felt week all over. I sat onto of the island with my hands on my face not wanting to face the bitter reality that was my life. I had so much more pain to feel, and I knew it would only get worse.

Unsure looks started at me, coming from my mother and brothers, as well as my father.

"Are you sure? What happen?" I managed to let out. I didn't really feel up to this conversation at the moment, but I knew it had to be done. The sooner it was over the sooner I could go to my room and mourn over the loss.

"Yeah. . . I even went to the doctors this morning to check." she answered which made me cry even harder, knowing that there was no hope. As I sobbed into my cell phone my mother came over and puttied my back, knowing what was happing was not good. My brothers just stood there while my farther brought Frankie up to his room so he wouldn't be mixed up in the confusion and pain of my life.

There was dead silence as both of us cried big tears of loss and pain.

"I'll call you later." I finally replied watching my farther enter the room.

"I love you Joe." the words struck through my heart like a piece of glass. We really were in love, but unsure of the future. So many new things were happing, and changing, we were unsure of where we both should. We both knew this was the last string and that our love couldn't take pain so great. The journey was almost over.

"I love you too Lily, bye" I hung up the phone regretting my last words. I just wanted to know what happened. What happened to the child growing in Lily's belly that had my blood running through its veins.

"Joseph, is everything alright?" my mother asked still rubbing my back. She looked scared for me, like she knew the answer, like she knew I couldn't handle my own life.

"No, Lily lost the baby." I replied knowing my father didn't even knew yet. I didn't even care. I saw his face grow mad with anger then cool down when he remembered it was gone. Lost. Dead.

"I'm so sorry, Joe." Kevin said with a look of uncertainty on his face. Like the rest of his family he was worried about his brother, he knew how happy he had beam about the news. He had already seen Joe looking at baby names, and buying a few toys and clothes for his baby. He knew that Joe was ready to become a father, and he also knew that this was going to haunt Joe the rest of his life. This was only the beginning of it.

"It'll be fine. Just calm down honey." His mother spoke softly holding her son in her harms. He just sat there not knowing where to go or what to do.

"Lily was pregnant, and you was the father?!" Mr. Jonas asked in shock and horror. It made him feel he didn't know his own son, it made him feel that he had be left out of his own family.

"Da-"

"Not now Paul." Mrs. Jonas cut him off trying to focus on calming her son.

"I just. . . I'm going to Jason's" Joe said ripping from his mother's arms and leaving the table. He just wanted to get away from it all.

Forever.

* * *

**Just a story idea I though would be new. I'm gonna update, I just want 2 c how people take it b4 writing like a super long chapter. REVIEW plez, comment and concerns welcome!!**


	2. Chapter 2

Declaimer: Me don't own JB or HM. Isn't that sad.

* * *

The door slammed as Joe got into his car. He couldn't take this, he didn't want to. As he sat in his driveway he thought about Lily and how she must feel. He thought he should go and visit her, but turned down the idea and started up the car to Jason's, his best friends.

The loud heavy metal music shook has insides as he cried on the highway. He had seen Nick and Kevin try to stop him from leaving the house, but ignored it. He knew that his brothers knew where he was going, and for what reasons.

Joe thought of all the things that could have happened to Lily the night before. All the things he could have prevented, but wasn't there to. He wished he had been there, he wished he could just fine the power inside of himself to go and talk to her. But he couldn't, he had to do something else first.

He walked into the old house people passed out on the lawn could be seen. Beers were everywhere in people hands. It was a mess, but Joe was used to it when he opened the front door.

"Hey. . ." Joe said seeing Jason at the table smoking some weed. It was a usual morning here, which made Joe feel great. There nothing better than going to a place like home when times are shitty.

"Joe!! Dude you should have been here last night!! Crazy man." Jason said while Joe took the seat by his side.

"Sweet. . ." Joe didn't know how to answer, he really wanted to be happy right now and talk to his friend but he couldn't, not yet.

"Holly was like ALL OVER me, she was asking for you, you know." He said take a puff of his jolt and letting it back out. The room smelt of stale smoke and beer, the room had beer bottles all over it so there wasn't anywhere else to sit.

"I really got to get out of here dude. Like of the state so could you hook me up??" Joe wanted to get right to the point, no fooling around.

"Is that all you came here for? I thought you was off of the shit though?" Jason said getting up to get a beer from a cooler.

"I need some, for my sanity." Joe replied looking down. He didn't want to start crying again, even if it was only in front of his best friend.

"What happen man?" Jason said pulling a chair over to Joe. Even he knew something was wrong, and as a best friend it was his duty to help.

"Nothing, I just really need to get away for a while." He lied in fear of another breakdown.

"Are you sure." Jason asked unsure. Joe nodded. "Cuz like you haven't done a smack of this in like a months. You went to rehab dude, remember?" It was true Joe was 'cured' but after the baby mistake Joe couldn't find resort himself to his old ways. When he had found out he was going to be a father it made him stick to his new ways, now they were pointless.

"Yeah, just. . .please." Joe answered. He didn't really want to say anything. He just wanted to go back home with the coke and revert to his depressed state. What else did he have to look forward to.

"Fine, whatever man. You just can't do it here, I'm out a here. I got a 1 o' clock with Rachel, dude." Unlike Joe, Jason enjoyed getting different girls to sleep with him. Joe didn't care he didn't plan to stay anyway.

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with you!!" Joe had come to Lily's door high and crying. Lily had answered the door tears in her eyes. Her day was going shitty too. It was tough on her.

There was no answer only tears and yelling. Joe had just done a shot of cocaine and he was high, his heart was beating extremely fast and he felt up for anything. Except this. It reminded Lily of his old ways, the ways that had drawn Lily to leave Joe. After that he changed, went to rehab, came back, and got back together with Lily. When Lily had gotten pregnant Joe had sworn to never do drugs again. That plain was long gone.

"We need to talk." She answered pulling him close and closing the door behind her. The walk to her room was quite, and when they got there, no one really wanted to talk. I was strange.

Joe went over by the open window felling the cool air against his skin. Lily just stood by her bed not knowing if she should cry or talk.

"This sucks." the worst echoed though the room.

"I know, I thought we were finally going to be together." Lily answered. " I mean forever, not for just now. . ."

"Well lets look on the bright side, now we can go back to our lives, be kids, live life." Lily just looked around the room. The sun was high and bright making the room look more welcoming. But it wasn't.

"I don't want to, I want our baby back."

"And you think I don't ! If you haven't noticed I can't take this." Lily stared into his eyes. She didn't blink. "What even happen?"

"I- I fell, down the stairs." She didn't know what to say. She was in too much shock to say anything.

"How? I mean what happened, I really wanted this baby. I was so pumped, I even wrote a song." His head went down. He just wanted to leave.

"I was too!! I was so happy, I've never felt that way before. I was actually enjoying my life."

The room went silent as tears fell down Joe's cheeks. Weeping could be heard from Lily.

"We could still have a baby Joe, I could get pregnant again." Dead silence filled the room once more.

"I'll pass." Joe said silently. He walked out of the room Lily on his tail.

Not once did he turn around.

Not once did he answer.

Not once did he know where he was going.

Not once did he care.

All he knew was that he was not going back, he couldn't just replace a child that was gone. So he drove away. Where is a good question.

* * *

****

Hope u liked, a little at least, PLEZ REVIEW REIVEW!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimor : I don't own the Jonas Brothers or Hannah Montana, I did in a dream once though, does that count ??**

* * *

Joe was feeling the effects of his now cocaine addiction after his three hour drive around town. He really just wanted to get away, and leave. That was his next move.

He was currently sitting outside of his parents' house. He could see Nick sitting on the front porch with Mile. They looked like they were talking about him, and were staring at his car. Joe knew what they were talking about. That wasn't hard to figure out.

"Hey!" Nick called as Joe got out of the car, closing the door behind him and coming up the drive way to the front door.

"I heard what happen." Mile said. She knew it was a soft subject for him but felt that she should enlarge the situation. "Were all really sorry."

"That was going to be my niece or nephew, you know, I feel really bad." Nick followed

"That was going to be my son or daughter I feel really bad too as face." Joe shout back, which took Nick aback. Joe put them in there place, he didn't want to be felt sorry for.

"Sorry. . ." Nick said almost a whisper after Joe slammed the front door behind him.

Their mother was sitting in a shear in the living room reading a book. It was about coping after a miscarriage, and totaled _Empty Arms._

"Joseph?" Mrs. Jonas looked up making sure it was him. He just looked at her like a deer in headlights reading the book's cover. He really didn't want to learn how to cope. He felt he was doing just fine, he just wanted to deal with it by himself.

"Yeah..." He answered, knowing what was to follow.

"I got this book for you." She answered coming over to her son handing over the book. "I really think you should read it, I have another one too, its pacifically for furthers. I left it on your bed." The world father stung him like a bee. He yet again realized he wasn't going to be a father anymore. It still hurt.

"Mom, please, I don't want the book." He replied not even looking at her. He knew the books would help.

"I thought they would help, please read them. I'm worried about you." Infect she was very worried. She wanted her once happy son back. She wanted to help.

"Don't be. I'm going to go to bed now."

"Are you sure, do you want to talk?" This seemed to hurt Mrs. Jonas, seeing her son in so much pain. She felt she was the one that lost the child. It sure seemed like it.

"I'm good." He replied slowly walking up the stairs leaving his mother behind, and heading to his room.

The walk to his room was long. He could hear his little brother Frankie playing in his. He could feel his own father's eye on him as he walked by his office. He could feel Kevin tap in on the shoulder. He turned around, not even caring what that person wanted.

"You OK." Kevin asked. he really wanted to know what his brother was feeling and how he was taking all of this.

"Just dandy." He answered turning around back to his bedroom.

"I think we should talk about this. I don't want to see you go back to the way you was before. I don't think we want to see you like that again."

"You act like I've been two people." Joe replied

"No, its just. . . you was different before you went, well, away." he knew this was a coward conversation for the two of them. These word were never said before. But they had to be spoken eventually.

"Before I went to read, just Fricke say it." The room went silent for Joe again. It seemed to be happening allot.

"I just want you to know I love you, your brother and I wanted to ask if you wanted to talk about the baby."

"Want is there to talk about!!" Joe yelled. He was sick of the pity. He was sick of the grief. To him there was nothing more to be said.

"I don't know, how your taking all of this! You haven't been home all day, and when you do come home you look like your suicidal. Moms been worried all day!"

"I am God dame suicidal!! I can't even understand why I'm not dead yet!" He answered harshly Turing around to face Kevin.

"Don't even say that!! You just need to get through this... Mom called tee psychoses today." He was beginning to become angry at his brother, how could he even say that. how could he even think it. He had his whole life ahead of him.

"Do me a favor, tell her I'm not going. I'm packing up and leaving. I don't know when I'll be back. I don't think I ever will be."

"Please, don't. We need you here." Kevin replied. He really loved his brother.

"For what, I have no reason for being hear." This broke Joe heart even to say.

"Yes you do, your my brother."

"I'll think about it." Joe said as he got into his room. He slammed the door behind him.

On his bed he could see the book his mother had left for him. It read_ Dealing with a Miscarriage :Father Addition_. Joe rolled his eyes and sat n his bed taking the book in his hand.

He looked around the room. Clothed were everywhere along with some cod's. In the corner were the baby clothed he had bough ten. he had bought some girl and boy clothing, because he had not known the gender, but continued on his happy journey on buying clothed. He had felt so proud buying them. Now they were useless, and could be thrown away. One of them read Son of Jonas, while another of the shirts read Jonas Princess.

He flipped though the book, big tears streaming down his cheeks. It told him he should be open to people. Like that's ever going to happen he thought. he set the book down and clued his eyes thinking of how his life was suppose to be like. He knew it wasn't this.

* * *

****

I hope some people are enjoying this story. I know I like writing it. I really want people to review. I like negative reviews too. so imp actually begging, REVIEW!!

- Cordeila-SMILIES!!


End file.
